First Aid for your relationship
What to do when it looks like your relationship is falling apart and you both want to stay together and get it to work.
First, remember that the relationship is working if you both want to stay together; you are just temporarily locked into a heavy pattern. By now you know that what is happening between the two of you is happening to heal you of something. The love between the two of you is pushing out some negative mental mass. Another way of putting this is that your patterns are “dovetailing.” Instead of yelling and screaming at one another, take one of these alternatives:
- Consult with someone you trust.
- Call your local Breath coach and make an appointment. Or use our QLB meditation.
- Write down all your negative thoughts and turn them into affirmations.
- Become aware of all the blame thoughts you have about the other. Remember that blame is always off the track. All disapproval comes from a corner of your own mind; your partner is your mirror. What does this say about you? How did you create this? How did you attract this?
- Remember that love is bringing up things unlike itself. Don’t leave until you understand the pattern at least, or you will just recreate it with the next person.
- Handle your anger in individually appropriate ways.
- Remember that you are never upset for the reason that you think. Get in touch with the earlier situation you are reliving l
- lie down and hold each other. When you can’t communicate, stop and hold each other and breathe together gently.
- when you have calmed down, share all feelings, on at the time. One person talks, and the other listens without interrupting.
If your mate is with another woman or another man and you are blaming them both, stop. Sit down alone and tell yourself the truth. Try writing the following phrases at the top of a piece of paper and see how many things you can list for each one.
- The reasons I attracted this situation are.. .
- My payoff for creating this mess is. ..
- What I get to prove to myself is.. .
- What that other person represents is…
- The reasons I secretly want my mate to do this are…
- The thoughts I have been thinking that created this are. . .
- The thoughts I need to think to clear up my jealousy are . . . . Since your partner is your mirror, it is possible that you, yourself, secretly want to go out with someone else.
Maybe you have resented knowing that others have the pleasure you won’t allow yourself to have. Or, you may be pulling in another person who represents one of your siblings who took away the attention of one of your parents (i.e. you are setting up your partner as your parent).
If the relationship falls apart despite everything you have tried to do, and your partner leaves you, remember this: You never lose anything or anyone who was with you for your highest good under any circumstances. 1f it seems that you have lost someone, then that person was no longer for your highest good.
The best news of all is this: Nothing is ever taken from you without its being replaced by something greater. In this situation, God is trying to give you something better, so let go. You must create a vacuum to receive the new.
ALL LOSSES ARE GAINS NOT RECOGNIZED